The bear shrugged. I dont think so. How does an octopus go into battle? Why do we like volcanoes? But, first, what do people mean by did I ask you?. All while making the question asker look dumb. Ones pretty heavy and the others a little lighter. You come across as a person who has low self-esteem and is embarrassed to ask anybody for anything, for the fear of being refused or rejected again and again, so I did it on my own and to stop you from becoming a spectacle. navigator.sendBeacon('https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', payload); You planet. A pork chop. OK, now you say, Control Freak who?. Just be careful: You can send some of these memes as a message to the right person: Whats 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women wild? Want more laughs? Strong people dont put others down. Dont forget to bookmark these other whats the difference between jokes that will crack you up. A tomato in an elevator. Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. Once. READ THIS NEXT:80 Corny Jokes You Can't Help But Laugh At. Fuck you said. Waiter if I get my hands on you! Getting down and dirty with your hoes. By using one of the comebacks from our list, you can shut down the person who asked without causing a scene. The sheer awkwardness of the situation should set in eventually and the person will walk away. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 28 Best Replies To Hmm (Witty & Clever), 29 Best Replies To Hey Handsome (Witty & Clever), Funnier Or More Funny Comparative & Superlative Forms, 25 Best Comebacks To Suck My D*ck (Witty & Clever), 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. When did I ask - slang Used when someone brings up something irrelevant or not wanted in a conversation. It was two tired. Because they hit foul balls. The husband, surprised, pulls his out. Otherwise, close the page now. These funny jokes will help you turn your frown upside-down. What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? And do you love, well, jokes? What do you call a pony with a sore throat? You cared enough to dismiss it; that counts. By Sergios Rotar What did the rock drummer call his twin daughters? He ate the pizza before it was cool. Get ready to laugh with this Valentine's-themed joke: How did the orca ask the other to be their Valentine? Sneakers. The line gained popular recognition in mid-June 2011. Lick-a-lotta-puss. We have some cool puns to add to your collection: Party time always gives us a reason to laugh. He gave her a diamond card. I stood at the front, cleared my throat, choked back the tears, and said, "Plethora." It is a pretty rude thing to say. One was a-salted. This is another funny response that will leave the question asker feeling confused and dumbfounded while also returning to them the disrespect that they have shown you. Once you open it, you realize its half-empty. You can try being the life of the party with one of these: Be careful joking with women. The bartender asks, "Dry?". Youd better be. He just can't part with it. What do you call a zen master in charge of snacks? Watch popular content from the following creators: jordan(@jjnthatsspam), Sophia Voropaeva(@_sopha21), sam(@.samceline), Human(@_that_human_being_), jamal(@jamallxoxo) . Of course, you need to screw a light bulb. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it comes from. Hear that? Read up on more bar jokes that are hilariously funny. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house. Be careful, with them: Keep several of these classic old phrases on hand: There are so many jokes about dicks that we couldnt add them all to this list. If you find yourself on the receiving end of a "your mom" joke, one option is to laugh it off. How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Cereal pleasure to meet you! 30 Hoover Jokes & Puns Guaranteed to Make You LOL, 40 Moustache Jokes That Are A Cut Above The Rest, 30 Best Gnome Jokes & Puns Kids Will Love. ", Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. All Rights Reserved. He was deadlifting. Privacy Policy. Even if you love these clever jokes, youll still get a kick out of these anti-jokes. But, heres a warning: Only use them in an appropriate setting where no one will be offended. xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type', 'text/plain;charset=UTF-8'); I'll meet you at the corner. I adore the following, in no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother. []BMany people think of bully as one child pushing or hitting another, but bullying is not only physical. 3. Whats the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? Fssh. Why is history like a fruit cake? * You didn't ask me? What do you call a hippie's wife? Why didn't the skeleton get a prom date? I can totally keep secrets. Whats the best part about gardening? Your responsibility is to assess the situation and determine the best course of action. He ate the pizza before it was cool. Now the focus has shifted back to them, showing anyone in earshot how rude the first question was, making them embarrassed and making you laugh. Two peanuts were walking down the street. My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy, so I got drunk. When do we want them? You spread its little legs. Who Asked, Nobody Asked, and That's Crazy, But I Don't Remember Asking are expressions used to indicate a lack of interest in what another person has said or posted, similar to Cool Story, Bro. What did the full glass say to the empty glass? How much money does a pirate pay for corn? READ THIS NEXT: 183 Jokes for Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun. In cases like this, we need some clever comebacks to put them in their place. Because he had a great fall. Because there were a lot of knights. You know youve got a high sperm count when she has to chew before she swallows. You might enjoy: 24+ Clean Comebacks for Get a Life. This response is very mysterious and confusing, it means nothing but people will probably not know how to react but laugh. 2. Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common? You can also sign up for our newsletter so you don't miss out on what's next! What do boobs and toys have in common? and our So they don't peel. "Catch up!". Well it's your lucky day, because we've got . Think Im sarcastic? He was in a jam. What do you call a fish with no eyes? I was kidnapped by mimes once. Me! Why are women like KFC? 40. When someone asks did I ask you, you have only a moment to decide whether to be clever or funny. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? Because they are so lavable. Im pretty sure I married someone elses soulmate. What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? 17. Explanation: A rhetorical question is one thats asked in order to make a point but doesnt require an answer. If at first you dont succeed, blame someone else and seek counseling. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, the third nun couldnt reach. Click here to learn more! the bear replies. } Ouch! By using one of the comebacks from our list, you can shut down the person who asked without causing a scene. I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. 14. . What did the pirate say when he turned 80? A submarine. What did the banana say to the vibrator? Mississippi. Embarrassed, and to spare her young sons innocence, the mother turns around and says, Dont worry. Three words to ruin a mans ego? You just have to listen varicosely. Usually, when someone asks did I ask you? they are not being genuine. The fact that there are only two errors. I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me. Because the queen reigned there for decades. A comeback said by mostly middle school boys when they know they have lost an argument but want the last laugh. If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Well, I am 100% sure you did. You look drunk. A pork chop. What do you call a pig that does karate? Whats the difference between attraction, love and showing off? Last Updated: December 5th 2022. A $100 bill. Beano Jokes Team. 50. Explanation: Say it to the opening of Beethovens Fifth Symphony, and youll get the joke. Later they get together. The bartender says, "Why the long face?". 38 Likes, TikTok video from Grace (@baltes33): "same ppl who still making the who asked n when did i ask jokes#him #he #fyp". Answer: A Diamond Question: What did the cowboy say went he went into the car showroom in Germany? If I promise to miss you, will you go, like, really far away? That's it for now! What do you call a group of rabbits backing up? Because he neverlands. I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. He forgot to wrap his Whopper. Explanation: The French philosophers most famous line is I think, therefore I am. His least famous line: Is this seat taken?. Watch popular content from the following creators: Aimzy(@aimzygg), jordan(@jjsshenanigans), sam(@.samceline), Human(@_that_human_being_), Sophia Voropaeva(@_sopha21), jamal(@jamallxoxo), camille ;)(@111camillee), Jafiki(@jafiki), (@user1118012706685), Bacon vs Emos on this acc(@savage.bacon68) . 45 lbs. * No, you didn't. What's your point? A nervous wreck. Just stare blankly at the person who asked you that and say nothing. Reporter: Excuse me, may I interview you?. Whats the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? When I was in junior high, the girls in my class would laugh at me or ask questions designed to embarrass me. Why having fun with a prostitute is like a bungee jumping? Ten-tickles. Hmmm, I guess you can see how much I care over there (then point to an empty hallway or somethinh similar) then grin. Whats 72? With more than 130 jokes to scroll through, the laughs are guaranteed! 39. Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. He worked it out with a pencil. What do a penis and a Rubiks Cubes have in common? Also if I asked you wouldn't be talking. If youre loving these clever jokes, youll get a kick out of these St. Patricks Day jokes youll want to share all year round. What did the buffalo say when his son left for school? What did the snail who was riding on the turtle's back say? You mustve misheard me. If you loved this, youll get a kick out of these dog puns. 1. What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? If you're here, who's running hell? But if you're a math teacher or a parent trying to help your kids (keyword: trying) with their math homework, you know a good laugh is exactly what the doctor ordered. There was nothing left but de-Brie. It was two tired. It shut all my friends up! 21. Will glass coffins be a success? Because the P is silent! We've been graced with our fair share of "dad" jokes, so-bad-they're-good puns, knock-knock jokes, and even some moments of pure stand-up comedy. What do you call a fake noodle? Theyre used to eating nuts. 46. You might enjoy: 50 Dirty Comebacks and Insults to Win Every Argument. Why are teddy bears never hungry? The waiter says, "What's with the pause?" "I stand corrected!" She drops her pants and says, My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!, A boy says to a girl, So, sex at my place? Yeah! Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks were making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. 38. I don't know, and I don't care. just ask them why they are so insecure about things. Those are just contractions., Why the big pause? asks the bartender. Best trade I've ever done! Smirking, the first friend replied, "Oh, c'mon I'm just tittin'.". All day thought-provoking questions Funny coffee jokes, check out the funniest Reader s! Anal makes your hole weak. Plus, when you get home and your kids ask what you did today, you can tell them you managed to sprinkle some humor into your workday. Your mom sure seemed to care last night. The infantry. What did the card say when he didn't end up getting through the job interview? Hot, because you can catch cold. Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. 5. How do you open a banana? Losing my virginity was a lot like how I learned to ride a bike. The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. Why don't chickens play baseball? Alright, are you ready? A cocker-poodle boo. The difference between kinky and perverted is the difference between using a feather, and using the rest of the bird. What do a guy and a car have in common? if( navigator.sendBeacon ) { He's all right now. This response is clever because it really shows how rude the other person was being because even if your statement was un-asked-for their response to you was too. "You wait here, I'll go on ahead.". I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. 1. Remains to be seen. Next time someone asks you, who asked, or did I ask use one of these clever comebacks and put them in their place. What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? How did the mathematician deal with his constipation? A Master Baiter. A golfer goes. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes? You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees? While theres no guaranteed way to come up with the perfect comeback at the moment, there are a few witty responses that will put the other person in their place. They are similar to the phrase "shut up"and may be considered rude to use. A pig in a hot tub. Watch me pretend to care. A horse walks into a bar. 1.) We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Approximately one GB. Why do people make end-of-the-world jokes like theres no tomorrow? But, deep down, if we are honest, who doesn't smile at corny jokes? Because they use a honeycomb. Not being a retard. What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Well-armed. This is another funny response that will leave them dumbfounded. Dont worry, said the doc. Id be fine if there werent so much blood in my alcohol system. Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. We dont serve your type.. The actor is still close with some of her onscreen family. Why do oranges wear sunscreen? Here are over a dozen irreverent history jokes to share with your favorite history teacher or students. Nobody asked you, either, but it seems that we all have to listen. A little horse. Do you want to hear a construction joke? Get ready to grab your sides because they are about to hurt from all the laughter!These jokes and riddles for kids are best enjoyed and shared with loved ones. I swear I wasnt lying, I was just writing fiction with my mouth again. These office jokes are so funny, they'll make your day better or at least they'll take you away from what you're working on for a few minutes. Knock-Knock Jokes. A termite walks into a bar and says, "So, is the bar tender here?". How does a squid go into battle? Ill go on a head. Person . My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. 34. Kid 2: "You will in about nine months.". Oh look! A penguin in the washing machine. Here is a couple that should get a laugh or two: This response is funny because it turns the situation around on the question asker. 137 of the Best Jokes for Kids. What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? Me loving a good discussion ended up having a long disussion over the communists and now he and many others in our group believe i am a borderline nazi. 11. 4. You know we always have the funniest jokes up our sleeve, whether youre searching for short jokes, corny jokes, or even bad jokes you cant help but chuckle at. Its a way of shutting down a conversation, of refusing to engage with new ideas. They dont actually want to know if they asked you. No, the punchline comes before the setup when time travel is involved. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are in an elevator. Dude, your dicks hanging out. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Did I Ask animated GIFs to your conversations. Whats the difference between a penis and a bonus? The best response to who asked is to stay calm and do your best not to overreact. After all, roses may be red, violets may be blue, but one thing's for surewe've got the all-time greatest Valentine's jokes for you! There just arent as many people who believe it. Cereal who? Da brie was everywhere. This often diffuses the situation and shows that you are not bothered by the insult. Answer (1 of 77): @Danny Margulies "Did I ask you?" * No, but maybe you SHOULD have. Whether youre looking to shut down someone in an argument or want some witty responses up your sleeve, these comebacks will do the trick. They've kept in touch after all these years. What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? Read more about Martin here. 4. A maybe. Here are some witty comebacks to Did I ask?: The best response to did I ask is to remain calm and try not to overreact. Theyre clean, effective, and will leave the person asking the question wondering what just hit them. Oh, no. A guy goes to a pet store to buy a goldfish. if( 'moc.enilnoefiltseb' !== location.hostname.split('').reverse().join('') ) { You would not use any of these if you werent: Well, these joke are silly, but still funny: Jokes about sex are eternal. (Its three.). What does a 75-year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesnt? What do you call a deaf gynecologist? To. Share Whats long and hard and full of semen? What did the dog say when it sat on some sandpaper? This one is both funny and clever because at first, it seems like a strange response but then it becomes clear that you are calling the question asker dumb. 2. A receding hare-line. Catch up! How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? Youre dead if the rubber breaks. Oinkment. What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A deodor-ant. What's the best thing about Switzerland? Where are average things manufactured? 3. * No, but this is more stupid than anything I might have said. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. This is another funny response that will make the question asker seem much dumber than they already do. After all, its tempting to put people in their place when theyre being needlessly rude, especially if you think theyre wrong. Why do geese fly south in the winter? 43. I finally decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. How did a card's friends know she was enamored with someone? This is another funny response that makes the question asker seem dumb for not asking for your opinion on the subject in the first place. Get Ready to LOL With These 70 Hilarious Jokes, Your Privacy Choices: Opt Out of Sale/Targeted Ads. Which is faster, hot or cold? Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
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