George Carlin, I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. The GUC cookie is set by Yahoo for Yahoo conversion tracking. ", 65. Used by Microsoft Advertising as a unique ID for visitors. The 2023 theme was "cooperation in a fragmented world," with WEF noting, "The world today is at a critical inflection point. You can't be winning a culture war if most people hate you and your culture and it is causing you to lose elections. "Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. This cookie, set by PubMatic, is used to build a profile of user interests and to show relevant ads. The JSESSIONID cookie is used by New Relic to store a session identifier so that New Relic can monitor session counts for an application. "Things you never hear: 'Please stop sucking my d**k or I'll call the police. Bluekai uses this cookie to build an anonymous user profile with data like the user's online behaviour and interests. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? Well, where do people think these politicians come from? Trouble is, most of them suck. They should be more vivid. Whats that, a bonus? Its called dick fear! Men are terrified that their pricks are inadequate and so they have to compete with one another, to feel better about themselves, and since war is the ultimate competition, basically, men are killing each other in order to improve their self-esteem! "People are wonderful one at a time. Simple thing. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. "Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. No other time but to see how human nature really shines, am I right? the politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. ""George Washington's brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country. ", 115. George Carlinwas one of the greatest comedians that ever graced a stage, and his comedy was as poignant and deep as it was hilarious. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked." What if puberty blockers are a kind of sex crime? The Onions fictional editor board asked in a mockery of The Times concern-trolling on trans issues. [5] And another one: ", 116. You have OWNERS! ", 110. He died in 2008, the week after he had been named the recipient of the Mark Twain Prize . My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. "The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. They own you. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Enter your email address to follow Motley News. Amen and Awomen. "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. The 1996 clip is being passed around on social media after this week's Supreme Court news. ", 82. What do you get at the end of it? These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. And if somehow, you must join, if its unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. The truth is, we dont have people like that. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. Quantserve sets the mc cookie to anonymously track user behaviour on the website. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, its not the politicians who suck. It's kind of bread-and-butter liberal (which during the counterculture 60s was pretty radical, but maybe not very en vogue with a younger crowd nowadays who are a bit more lefty). The cookie is a session cookies and is deleted when all the browser windows are closed. This cookie is used as a unique identifier for the BlueConic profile. George Carlin They Don't Give a Fu@k About You - YouTube George speaking the truth. ", 8. The ad-id cookie is provided by Amazon Advertising for tallying user actions by tracking ad clicks on other websites, to provide targeted content. "If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white, and blue dick that's being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth: It's call the Amercian Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.". The domain of this cookie is owned by Nielsen. They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. George Carlin may be dead, but his spirit lives on. ", 92. I think. Its because volunteers work for no pay. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. The _ga cookie, installed by Google Analytics, calculates visitor, session and campaign data and also keeps track of site usage for the site's analytics report. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. The ID is used for targeted ads. Bing sets this cookie to recognize unique web browsers visiting Microsoft sites. 'They dont want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. This cookie, set by Cloudflare, is used to support Cloudflare Bot Management. This cookie store anonymous user idnetifier to determine whether a visitor had visited before, or if its a new visit. "One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. I just dont have as many people who believe it. George Carlin, Now, theres one thing you might have noticed I dont complain about: politicians. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born on May 12, 1937, was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. And they own all the big media companies, so that they control just about all of the news and information you hear. Ice Cube and his political affiliations have been in the spotlight ever since White House senior advisor Katrina Pierson publicly thanked the Friday actor for his help in developing the "Platinum Plan" with Trump officials. Its because volunteers work for no pay. You have no choice. "We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. Obedience, respect for authority. Ice Cube also recently voiced concerns that neither political party would actually be able to make a positive change for the betterment of Black Americansand that's reportedly the rapper's whole reasoning for working with the White House on the Platinum Plan, which aims to develop Black businesses and communities. Recorded on November 5, 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New York. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. "It's never just a game when you're winning. The cookie, set by Krux Digital, registers a unique ID that identifies a returning user's device. - George Carlin. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. They don't fall out of the sky. Others see it half empty. In his 1996 HBO special Back in Town, the late comic legend and social critic George Carlin nailed the hypocrisy of social conservatives who rail against abortion and birth control with "pro-life" rhetoric while simultaneously attacking social . "The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. ""Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. AddThis sets this cookie to track page visits, sources of traffic and share counts. "Forget the politicians. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. "Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. If he wants to just lecture with his opinions then he gets lectured back with other peoples opinions. Trump did not fall to Earth from. Elect me. Put the blame where it belongs: on the people. Good honest hard-working people continue these are the people of modest means Continue to elect these rich cocksuckers who dont give a fuck about you. They own and control the corporations. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window). War is a whole lot of men standing out on a field waving their pricks at one another. After that, they don't want to know about you. ", 81. He's not a cheese. The rights and the rights of property. Over time, though, his success grew. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. ", 119. George Carlin was one of the more popular and influential comics to emerge from the 1960s counterculture. I'm f**kin' serious! ", 112. Am I right? You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. I think I need to show them that I have brought myself to a cleverer, smarter spot than they have.". Issued by Microsoft's ASP.NET Application, this cookie stores session data during a user's website visit. "So, have a little fun. You have owners. He was a regular on the "Ed Sullivan Show," but in the 1970s he became much better known for his irreverent . ", 98. They dont care about you at all. "I don't have pet peeves. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. The dmvk cookie is set by Dailymotion to record data of visitor behaviour on the website. "I don't know if we could count on any parties to get us out this s**t, to be honest. A provocative new photo shoot has the trolls losing their minds alongside the likes of Noel Gallagher, Bob Geldof, and Azealia Banks. This country is full of nitwits and assholes. It enables the embedding of Mix Cloud audio player. It was during the waning of the Nixon years, where confidence in government was beginning its slide down to the Stygian depths where it rests today; the Vietnam War, and racial unrest, continued to rage on. ", 3. "Atheism is a non-prophet organization. After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a. ' Avoid teams at all costs. Save the planet; we dont even know how to take care of ourselves yet. Thats what the owners count on. "Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. LinkedIn sets this cookie to remember a user's language setting. Installed by Google Analytics, _gid cookie stores information on how visitors use a website, while also creating an analytics report of the website's performance. "Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. "Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? He was as prolific as he was profound, with a career spanning nearly five decades, 23 albums, 14 HBO specials, 130 Tonight Show appearances and three books (plus posthumous releases). ", 53. "I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. "The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. JIM STAFFORD. These Politicians Don't Care About You At All The failures of people who supposedly represent the people Photo by Marco Oriolesi on Unsplash When people elect leaders in a democracy, the. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. This cookie is associated with Django web development platform for python. I prefer dogs, because dogs don't care. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money. ""You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? I have major psychotic f**king hatreds. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. You dont. Carlin was known for keeping things real, and his funny jokes were sure to get a laugh out of anyone. Our country is failing because the majority of the people are selfish. This cookie is installed by Google Universal Analytics to restrain request rate and thus limit the collection of data on high traffic sites. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". And apparently, I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. But once you're born, you're on your own. ", 7. Answer (1 of 16): He hated mostly all politicians. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. George Carlin. "Some people see things that are and ask, 'Why?' This information is then used to select advertisements delivered by the platform and measure the performance of the advretisement and attribute their payments. ""The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal,' 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. This information is used to pick out ads delivered by the platform and assess the ad performance and its attribute payment. How do school teachers handle this? "If four out of five people suffer from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it? "That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. And generally speaking, people onthe right of center, are interested in property values, property, property rights. It sounds like this: What, they have bigger dicks? They should be giving their money to you. Lobbying, to get what they want. I mean, life is tough. Where are these people hiding? But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. ", 63. You probably know what pinkwashing and queerbaiting are, but how about abrosexual and multisexual? George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. You caused the problem. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white, and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth: Its call the Amercian Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it., RIP George Carlin. ""The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. Cloudflare sets this cookie to improve page load times and to disallow any security restrictions based on the visitor's IP address. Thats all it is. And I didn't really care in the first place. Prof Thuggy aka Professor Thug 32K views 1. I like people who buck the system. With his daring satirical jokes, his words will make you laugh and make you think profoundly about everything you experience. A group of slave owners who wanted to be free! ", 104. '", 70. (LogOut/ After that, they don't want to know about you. The _omappvp cookie is set to distinguish new and returning users and is used in conjunction with _omappvs cookie. ""I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. Then you live in an old age home. Then you're just what they're looking for. "What if there were no hypothetical questions? The challenge is to find it. RIP George Carlin. It also helps in fraud preventions. Well what if I don't want to? Going after racists, sexists, fascists, and aiming to bring those who try to restrict freedom to justice. Everything He ever makesdies. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. That is against their interests. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. Politicians don't care about you. You will be notified via email when a new post is published. You have owners. By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. "Sometimes people say, 'Do I try to make audiences think?' By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. Theyre not interested in that. ", 125. Everybody complains about politicians. 1. They should be more vivid.