Helping ppl have the sex life they truly want thru writing & education. And if you're not confessing - to the victim - you're dodging doing time. I made it explicit to my girlfriend that I can only function in an extremely honest and all-cards-on-the-table relationship. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. I knew you liked him/her. What you're doing might FEEL easier, but that's you making the mistake too many others make, which is paying heed only to the *short* term, meanwhile risking leaving that bud to grow unseen into a thorn bush Come join the discussion about love, romance, health, behavior, conflict resolution, care, and more! I recall an incident years ago, we were very young, just teenagers, and a girl planted a big kiss on my hubby (then boyfriend) on a night out. The last person you should be talking to about your feelings of guilt is your partner. What did she say? Or does it mean something bigger in terms of my own relationship? (y) I have to admit that by kissing this guy whom I liked, I did cheat on my husband. Just my thoughts having been a victim of cheating. You reap what you sow. Yet obviously (action of posting on a forum after having pulled the snog plug) you don't like that bit. He's a nice guy and we get on, but I don't know how I'm gonna face him talk about normal work things. Even despite it included you having to become whatever degree of a low-down doity adulterer. It didn't feel real. I didnt tell him. I came home and we resolved it and ever since everything has been fine. Later, I spoke to my fianc and he told me he loved me and was sorry. I was enjoying myself and loving the chats and laughs. He never says this so I knew it was something serious. Weve probably all known silly drunks, mean drunks and people who simply couldnt hold their liquor and vomited all over the place. A number of years ago, while I was still married to my late husband, I befriended a guy who was an ace pianist. (Got me cracked) 24 But the guilt is killing me. reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2006): A However, the fact that you kissed another guy can act as a trigger for him to think negatively of you. 2. female Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! Best to start your own thread, like I say, if you want, where you could 'whistle while you work' to your heart's content. An innocent kiss usually involves getting so plastered that you lose your inhibitions and someone tries to kiss you and you return the kiss. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. If the reaction is strong, then maybe dont say anything. Would they be as lenient? I'd be obsessed with it. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name. I did for a second *start* to kiss him backbut only because I was so completely off my head at that point (I'm talking room starting to spin) as was he, actually, which is probably why it occurred- well, NEARLY occurred in the first place, so don't worry about that bit but the second I did, I came to my senses and told him NO WAY JOSE!!! By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. I was heart broken, and even though he said he immediately pulled away, and we stayed together and over time forgot about it, I remember feeling so uneasy every time I knew he would be in that girls company. I feel like I am hypnotized by the guy. This was a relationship BTW not a marriage. You can confess to your significant other and accept the consequences, knowing that you might hurt your partner by confessing. Do you want to end you marriage? Turning off notifications, deleting messages, and hiding chat apps may all indicate secrecy. male the guy has a long term girlfriend who he lives with and he said she was really angry with him for coming home so late, then he said, look, I think we're good people that completely lost our minds for 5 minutes, and are suffering major guilt for it now, but it will never ever happen again, and I'm not going to say a word to anyone' to which I replied 'neither am I' and he said 'ok, look I'll see you on Monday but this is going to be ok, don't worry, we can move on from this' My wife left me because I had become emotionally unavailable. My opinion, fwiw, is that what you did was not that bad. But we can get through it together if you are truley remoreseful. :-( Feel free to start a thread if you need to vent it all out.). If he wants to keep her as a "friend", complete access is a must. At least I'll know I've done my bit to the very best of my capability. I get the whole 'not wanting to hurt him' thing but, to some people at least, a kiss is very much cheating and so the SO deserves to know what happened right? Simone was telling a caller how satisfy his girlfriend. Past is something you cannot change. Oh yes he has cried a help of a lot. Own your truth- You did not expect to hear the REAL TRUTH and the RIGHT ADVICE. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here), but then I was cheated on for years by ExH and I would now put myself first. I like the soft smooth touch of a woman and her sexy smell while iam kissing her with passion, if there is a romantic connection it's even better. Right,undoubtedly you didn't say what Tillybops wanted to hear. A few people here will recommend MC but it really depends on what you can tolerate. Unfortunately, even these last few asides are tantamount to a forum no-no called thread mutineering. "and though he immediately pulled away". Mercy got too drunk, Cintia was drunk but she was ok so far. I was drunk on Friday night and I kissed another guy. Lead to or gateway to, I guess there's a difference. Cell phones, texting, emails etc. Try-it-on, cheating sleazebag makes pass at loyally-married woman; I felt sick! So she left after a couple of replies. , By entering this site you declare (No, I'm very passionate about fidelity.) "I'm not sure if you are trying to be helpful, or just entertaining yourself with your responses." I was correct, she struggles with trust. 5. I feel sorry for the visually impaired but that doesn't mean I want a blind person flying my airplane and my compassion won't make the flight any safer. What you *can* have is the Biggest B*lls on the Block award. ;-)), Back too Ya My Sistah from another mother!! I'm taking it day by day. This is the decission you need to make do you want to risk all (career, home, kids as well as your DH) and be in a position you can pursue a relationship with this married man - who may well reject you for more than a fling. I am biased and do hold strong views because my XH cheated. Better safe than sorry. The problem is soulmate if I mentioned some of the things that happened in another in another thread. :-*. However for the next time please be careful and never do such a blunder because he's a gem and you should not lose him just for your stupid or foolish acts .i mean any sophisticated or a ONE MAN WOMAN (a proud title for me :) and hopflly for u too ) wont like to stress her relatn or leave a man whom she loves or take him in a position where he might leave ? He deserves to know. She emailed him out of the Blue, and he proudly showed me both her smarmy email and his polite yet nonetheless "on yer bike!" Allow me show you for future ref what someone who hates feeling guilty looks like: DON'T: Kiss and tell to someone you're kissing. So many arguments begin because our partners got drunk and kissed someone else while they were under the influence of alcohol. female 4 days ago. male We use cookies on our site to remember your preferences, monitor site traffic and offer personalised ads. I believe in complete honesty, 100%. And I know himhad it made him feel the slightest bit threatened and worried, either he'd have said so there and then, or, if for some reason hadn't felt capable, would have shown in his behaviour at some point (I was watching for it regardless). ;-) If it in the meantime hits a nerve and makes you uncomfortable or even gets you all het up, that's your problem, not mine. Genie, I think being honest is always the best because. Soulmate I guess as long as you stay at this site I'll find all of you. But you can control whether you nurture the crush or acknowledge it and move on. Should I tell him or just get on with my life and put this whole sorry mess behind me? To tell versus Not to tell (and everything that has a bearing). Some song came on and it was a soppy song and we were both singing along. And he kissed me and I reciprocated. It's not the crime that counts, it's the time. a wiz veteran at Relationship Talk. You mentioned foreplay as being the main gate. But I don't see the need to borrow trouble by telling your boyfriend if you have learned your lesson and know you will never do . What if she sabotages the relationship through guilt? I spent the next day in bed all day crying and it has to be one of the saddest days of my life. Oh, and FYI again: so drunk I didn't know what I was doing tends NOT to be so plugged-in she 5 minutes beforehand notices the sleeping other person needs a blankie and a tucking-in. ;-p Just, why leave yourself open if you don't have to. Look at your first kiss after divorce as a new beginning, a new chapter. I'm 5 years married to my best friend. And what Simone Bienne said on the love line. There is no earthly reason that your partner needs to know chapter and verse of every indiscretion you ever engaged in. Later, he tried to make out and I said no because I felt it was wrong.I told him I needed a uber. Can Humans Detect Text by AI Chatbot GPT? Well you need to figure that out and fast. At least I understood why our marriage failed and no further closure was needed. Please leave me a comment. One way to get over the guilt would be to prove to yourself that it will never happen again. I feel horrible. I think my husband will not forgive me. I think they all count as cheating and I'm not sure it's necessary to make a distinction. For me, to feel guilty about having sex with someone, while in a relationship with someone else, I must have remorse. When I woke up yesterday I still felt drunk but the reality of what happened hit me like a tonne of bricks. However one night a boy kissed me and I kissed him back. We are together 12 years altogether and although I had boyfriends before him, it was never serious, and he is the only man I've ever slept with. The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding. in my opinion I don't see why you would feel guilty you did nothing . For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. Funny, I have never gotten amorous when I have had too much to drink. And now you - who finds trust difficult - have been tempted to do your OWN test (already commencedwhilst drunk), approached via the psychological end. In Jung's theory, the anima makes up the totality of the unconscious feminine psychological qualities that a man possesses and the animus the masculine ones possessed by a woman. Then the accusations begin, which night go something like: Why on earth did you kiss _________? BTW lips are also very much a part of foreplay that's what I've read. I'm dating this guy and have been for about 2 months. Three women and one guy went back. response. He also sent me a mean text that said for me to go f myself and to stay away from him. You're going through tests BY OTHERS to find out why you can't fall pregnant. Things do get out of our hand at times, now think. This one by far has lasted the longest. You have a number of choices in terms of how to deal with what happened. Hi Scope! As I left, the boy who I kissed came with me and I tried my best to shrug him off. I know true remorse when I see it. My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. If it were my husband, I would be upset too, because that would be so out of character for the man I know. A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2006): Hey sweetie my Name is Jilian I have a boyfriend as well and we have been dating for 3 months, I have had past relationships that have gone on for 11 months, I have cheated on my past boyfriend andi felt so terrible andi was in the same situation as you are, sweetie i know how you feel. Years after my divorce the one thing that still makes me really angry is that my XH should have ended the marriage as thats what he wanted. It's good that you're willing to forgive,most women would divorce. I'll still cross over with him at times, but it will be minimal. The way I see things, there are innocent kisses, which occur when a person had too much to drink, and then there are guilty kisses, which are precipitated by getting drunk. I am the same way. LOL However, if you kissed someone whom you liked or had a crush on while you were drunk, my opinion is that you cheated. Once my tennis coach misread me, came into my house, and gave a peck on my cheeks, in India, kissing is not a social gesture. It's not worth the headaches, nausea, acid reflux, stomach pain, or insomnia you may be experiencing. Just my opinion. I speak from experience when I say that when that intimacy starts to die, it can be the start of the end. I certainly took full responsibility for my actions, and fortunately the guy I kissed also took responsibility for his actions. It should prevent you from repeating your actions. When we got there the drinks flowed again , and more laughter and story telling. Hi SoulMate! I said no but he assured me nothing would happen and we would just lie and cuddle.In a drunken moment I agreed and he assured me nothing would happen. It sounds simple, but if you think you know how to apologize effectively, you are likely wrong. I believe that its a good thing to fess up when kissing someone you care about when you drank too much could threaten your existing relationship. He is a good person and a good husband and I love him very much. liverpool hospital outpatients,